Don't Bother · Science Fiction

Lessons from The Snow Creature: How to Sabotage Scientific Discovery

What do you consider to be the greatest scientific discovery of this generation? Would you say it’s a medical, technological or astronomical discovery? Perhaps the discovery of a previously unknown species trumps all. Well, then, imagine our excitement when we discovered The Snow Creature (1954), a film about the discovery of a Himalayan creature known as a Yeti. The Snow Creature is… Continue reading Lessons from The Snow Creature: How to Sabotage Scientific Discovery

Don't Bother · Film Noir

The Man Who Cheated Everybody

Do you ever wish you could make studios re-do certain movies? Well, we certainly do! We just watched a film noir that left us feeling so dissatisfied, we’re placing a call to Warner Brothers. In fact, we’re feeling so ripped off that – *SPOILER ALERT!* – we’re going to tell you how the movie ends to… Continue reading The Man Who Cheated Everybody

Don't Bother · Historical

Cyrano de Bergerac’s Guide to Relationships

What do you think about people who love the sound of their own voice? Do you find them fascinating, or do you want to strangle them? We were thinking about this during a recent screening of Cyrano de Bergerac, the famous story about the big-nosed Parisian who loves a young woman named Roxanne, but cannot find… Continue reading Cyrano de Bergerac’s Guide to Relationships

Don't Bother · Drama

Miriam Hopkins & the Cynic’s Guide to Life

This post is part of the 31 Days of Oscar Blogathon, hosted by Once Upon a Screen, Outspoken & Freckled and Paula’s Cinema Club. It runs Feb. 1 – Mar. 3, in conjunction with Turner Classic Movies’ 31 Days of Oscar. Sometimes the movies teach us distasteful life lessons. You know the lessons we’re talking about: life isn’t fair; the rich live… Continue reading Miriam Hopkins & the Cynic’s Guide to Life

Don't Bother · Thriller

The Boris Karloff Drinking Game

Gentle Reader, we do not normally advocate drinking games while watching classic movies. Today, however, we are making an exception. If you’re someone who doesn’t imbibe spirits, do not fear! You may still join us with the soft drink of your choice. At the conclusion of the movie, the effect will be the same. To… Continue reading The Boris Karloff Drinking Game

Don't Bother · Drama · Historical

George Arliss: Ladies’ Man and War Hero

George Arliss battles Napoleon and swooning ladies. Frankly, we feel some movies are best left in obscurity. Ever heard of The Iron Duke from 1934? No? There is a reason for that. We hadn’t heard of this movie either, until last week. We thought we would benefit from an unknown British historical drama about the Duke of… Continue reading George Arliss: Ladies’ Man and War Hero

Adventure · Don't Bother

Flipper vs. Sharks

Question: Who would win in an epic battle between Flipper the dolphin and two bloodthirsty sharks? If you’ve seen the 1963 adventure flick Flipper, you know the answer to this question. Flipper is the story of a boy (Luke Halpin) who befriends a friendly, smart dolphin. This dolphin is so smart, in fact, it can hear… Continue reading Flipper vs. Sharks

Don't Bother · Drama

The Charms of Dirt Farming

We’ve just observed something we’ve never before seen in a classic Hollywood film. Can you guess? Give up? Houseflies. Yup, plain old Musca domestica Linnaeus. We ask you: Have you ever seen a housefly anywhere near Cary Grant or Katharine Hepburn? We didn’t think so. In the opening scenes of the 1945 drama The Southerner, an… Continue reading The Charms of Dirt Farming

Don't Bother

Wallowing Becomes Electra

Gentle Reader, if you adore Eugene O’Neill and/or Greek Tragedies, please do not read any further. We try to like Eugene O’Neill and the Greek Tragedies – we really do – but, sadly, the merits of each are wasted on us. Such is the case in O’Neill’s play-become-film, Mourning Becomes Electra. Here is the exquisitely-titled but dreary tale about… Continue reading Wallowing Becomes Electra

Adventure · Don't Bother

Treasure Island (1934)

Many things in this movie disturb us. People being run over by carriages or falling from a ship’s mast are one thing, but who told Lionel Barrymore to sing? Is Wallace Beery‘s hair real? Why does Jackie Cooper talk like Shirley Temple? And why is this movie so boring? We know, we know. Treasure Island… Continue reading Treasure Island (1934)